April 24th, 2014

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via absolutejoke)

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

(via absolutejoke)

absolutejoke:

…Cheerios?

(Source: versaceslut)

jaaaaaaawn:

methdragon:

be there or 

image

That square is 5 bees by 6 bees I’ll have you know that is a bee rectangle you have failed

(via absolutejoke)

ofools:

it begins

(via absolutejoke)

April 23rd, 2014

patchworkbat:

laughterkey:

buzzfeed:

queen-of-evrything:

jamieaiken919:

mister-smalls:

kingcheddarxvii:

This is the most perfect video on the whole fricked up internet and we all owe it to ourselves to watch it once a day

cutest thing to ever happen on the Muppet Show, bar none

I’m not crying you’re crying

SHUT UP

This just made my day

If Rowlf isn’t your favorite Muppet we need to talk.

"Mr. Henson, I have an idea for a Muppet show segment."

"Go ahead."

"Well, it involved Rowlf the dog.."

"Okay, yeah?"

"Singing ‘What a Wonderful World."

"…okay…"

"To a wee baby puppy."

"Is that it?"

"Yes sir."

"You goddarned genius sun of a gun."

adrians:

thought I’d try this out

(via postlimeit)